How To Not Be A Dick (Letter to Man Who Was Clearly Being A Dick)

How To Not Be A Dick (Letter to Man Who Was Clearly Being A Dick)

Dear angry man who just threw a temper tantrum in front of my son,

I understand that you get angry when you are made to wait. My toddler would throw a tantrum over this.

I understand that you get angry when you have to fill in forms. (My toddler would also feel frustrated about being ‘forced’ to do something).

I understand that you wanted to hit something with your anger so you lashed out verbally and very loudly instead. (My toddler would probably scream and hit too).

I understand that you wanted to call the receptionists colourful names and tell the whole world about how slighted you feel at the top of your voice. (My toddler also wants to be heard and listened to).


You are not a toddler.

You are a grown man.

I would love it if you would temper your language a little bit around my babies. I would love it even more if you responded calmly and went for a walk outside instead of poisoning the environment with your bad mood. I would have loved to tell you to quieten down a bit too, but I was dealing with an upset person of my own (toddler).

Here is a little chart I found to help you next time you feel like being a dick.

Just don’t be.

Don’t swear. Take some deep breaths and go for a walk.

Take a look around you and notice the large room of people who are squirming uncomfortably for witnessing your dick-behaviour. You might not have noticed, but I left the building so that my toddler didn’t have to see you continuing to be a [total] dick.

It has made me sad that your ‘dickishness’ was witnessed by my little boy today and I thought I would just let you know.

I hope you find this chart helpful.

Over and Outie.


Have you ever felt uncomfortable because of the behaviour of strangers in front of your kids?

How much do you censor them from witnessing?

Sorry to darken your day with dickishness – brighten it up again by visiting X


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  1. I also hate when people swear in front of my children! Unfortunately, where I live swearing seems to have become an acceptable part of everyday speech. Mothers at the school gates, taxi drivers, shop assistants, they all use expletives in every sentence, and don’t seem to realise they are even doing it. Infuriating.

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