What use is it to recognise ‘doucheness’ if it can’t be shined up a little?
I just had a pretty interesting conversation with my man about Mother’s Day. He knows it is coming up because I have been talking about it in a business context. I also may have asked my two year old what he was getting mummy for Mother’s Day in front of him. Plus we just had this conversation, so he definitely knows about it. *
So ‘subtle’ hinting aside, we talked about why men do or don’t treat their partners on days like this.
Together, we came up with a list of reasons:
a) they don’t know about it
b) they don’t realise how much Mums really need a break
c) they know about it but don’t ‘believe’ in it (too commercial)
d) they think they treat their ladies every day anyway
e) they are taking the _____
f) they can’t read hints
g) they don’t realise the importance of having ‘special days’
h) they just plain forget
So here’s a quick reference list to decide if your man is a Douche or a Diamond:
Your man is a DOUCHE if he:
sleeps in and doesn’t give you a break
doesn’t realise that you need pampering sometimes
doesn’t take the baby from you for at least half an hour (just half an hour)
doesn’t do anything differently
doesn’t realise that you need to be more appreciated
doesn’t at least address his position on commercialism (if that’s his reason)
doesn’t make you a cup of tea (at least)
Your man is a DIAMOND if he:
gives you a sleep in
asks you what you might like
recognises that you need a break
does something nice for you deliberately
becomes super daddy for the day (or tries to)
plans something for another day if Mother’s Day doesn’t work out
makes you feel appreciated for all the mummy stuff you do
does something else entirely that makes you feel awesome
But how can you turn a douche into a diamond?
We talked about this too. Because what use is it to recognise ‘doucheness’ if it can’t be shined up a little?
His answer (because I can only really quote him as part of my research):
Tell him what you want.
Talk to him about it.
This way, if he knows how it is and what your expectations are, then he can at least try (and thus avoid major disappointment). And if he doesn’t try even when he knows your expectations; then we need a new category…
‘Hoping’ and then being disappointed is probably not the best way to add any sparkle to any pending occasion or to any relationship.
If you want a gift, you can visit the Outie Shop but here are some free ideas to share:
A family picnic with Mummy getting a no-cook holiday
Posie from the garden
Invisible mummy morning (mummy gets time to herself)
A pedicure from daddy
A massage from daddy
A home-made card
Breakfast in bed
A pack of mummy ‘hall passes’ or vouchers for mummy to use when she wants
A family drive to a special destination
A ‘have the house to yourself’ day
A home-made glamour photoshoot
Love pancakes (spoon the batter into words or shapes a few seconds before adding the rest of the batter)
A ‘have a maid for the day’ day
Get creative. We agreed (in the end) that ultimately it’s the thought that counts.
*My favourite flowers have also been spoken about recently along with how I think I might be ‘ready’ for a treat (namely a massage…)
P.S. Don’t forget there is a Father’s Day too and lots of dads feel underappreciated too. (Just saying)
PPS. Please VOTE for me for the Best Parenting Blog (nominated in The Baby View Best in Home Business Awards!)