Whether you know you are a member or not, we are all members of a secret society called The Sleep Club.
The first rule of Sleep Club is that you do not talk about Sleep Club.
You joined unwittingly at conception.
In early pregnancy, excitement keeps you from getting any.
In late pregnancy, discomfort prevents you from getting any.
In the newborn phase, sleep becomes its most elusive.
After that, it must remain secret. Talking about it risks a sleep jinx.
If your baby slept well last night, you must not talk about it. Talking about it increases the chances of a bad sleep the following night by 78%.
Replace all talk of Sleep Club with a mysterious nod.
Ten Easy Rules of Sleep Club
- You do not talk about Sleep Club.
- You DO NOT talk about Sleep Club.
- Smile and nod at people who ask you if your baby is sleeping through.
- Use the mystery nod at people who tell you their baby is sleeping through.
- Avoid the phrase, ‘sleeping like a baby’ at all costs.
- Learn thy lullabies.
- Believe in the sanctity of naps.
- Believe in the sanity that naps bring.
- Keep calm.
- Take one sleep at a time.
NB: Though this post be silly, the truth about talking about it has been true in our house. We have known the sleep jinx so consider yourself warned. Now when we all have a good night’s sleep, we give each other a secret smile (or the mystery nod) and try not to talk about it. A good night’s sleep is like Voldemort – it is better left unspoken.