How to get your toddler into the bath (when mummy wins)

Toddlers at arms length

Toddlers are so much fun but also so much hard work sometimes…

Me: Do you want to have a bath now?

Him: No

Me: How about a shower?

Him: No

Me: What about a bubble whisk?

Him: No

Me: A wishing well?

Him: No

Me: How about a soak?

Him: No

Me: A wash?

Him: No

Me: A water box?

Him: No

Me: A Rinse?

Him: No

Me: Quality time with bubbles?

Him: No

Me: A foam painting expedition?

Him: No

Me: A wallow?

Him: No

Me: An indoor waterfall?

Him: No

Me: A water play date?

Him: No

Me: Nudie time in the bath?

Him: No

Me: A whale show?

Him: No

Me: A car wash?

Him: No

Me: A Suds-up?

Him: No

Me: A miniature deep sea dive?

Him: No

Me: Well I think your whale is very dirty so I am going to go and wash him in the bath.

Him: NOOOOO!

(So he takes his whale to the bath).

Lesson: Words win.

It might be the English teacher in me, but I kind of enjoyed coming up with more ways to say ‘bathe’ and I am sure this is by no means a finite list… Mummy wins! And I do love words and I hope I am also teaching him to love them too.

button cartoon about life

Children keep us on our toes but we just have to keep rolling with the punches. Like a good little button…

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The Daily Cycle – An Infographic (or how I can still say that ‘sometimes’ I am a Zen parent)

Sometimes less is more when it comes to writing. This is a pretty accurate picture of an average day for me… Inspired by a ‘Cute – cute – cute – super-cute – friggen disgusting – cute – cute’ measure about five minutes ago. (Make sure you read the tags for this post).Daily Cycle Baby Daily Cycle Toddler Daily Cycle

Liked? Please let me know and click follow (on the right) before you go.

Mucho aroha (and back to my little monsters)

Katrina (Outie)

Ten Reasons Why You Want To Trade Places With Your Baby

Babies seem to get an awesome deal...

Babies seem to get an awesome deal…

 

Ten Reasons Why You Want To Trade Places With Your Baby

1)      You are covered in kisses all day

2)      Everyone adores you even when you have messed your pants

3)      You are put on a pedestal at least three times a day

4)      Your food is cut up for you

5)      A personalised snack pack picnic is never far from reach

6)      People bring you activities that they know you like

7)      You are wrapped up tightly to sleep

8)      You are read bedtime stories

9)      Your day is organised for you

10)   You have your own personal fan club

 

More Than Ten Reasons Why You Shouldn’t

 

1)      You don’t have any personal space

2)      You mess your pants and sometimes draw with it

3)      You can’t get down from your pedestal

4)      Your food is dictated to you

5)      Snack packs are never far from reach but you can’t reach them

6)      People think that they know what you want and you can’t communicate well enough to convince them otherwise

7)      You wear a straight jacket to bed (but you know you are not crazy)

8)      You want to stay up late but you are never allowed to

9)      You want to do what you want, but can’t

10)   You are followed by a weird paparazzi who take photos of you even when you are naked/sleeping/on the toilet

11)   Boobs are thrust in your face every time you cry (or should that be in the ‘reasons why you want to trade places’ guys?)

12)   You sleep in a ‘cage’

13)   You are easily overstimulated

14)   You have to wear bear costumes in public

15)   You cannot last a whole day without crying

16) … Can you add more reasons? Please leave a comment below.

 

Love Katrina (Outie)

This post is brought to you by the Outie Snuggle Shrug – it’s like a straightjacket for Houdini babies – even though we know they are not crazy. 😉

“Are you ok to drive?” Stuff and things during a growth spurt

If your baby is having a growth spurt, is teething or is sick; things can get a little, um, foggy. What are your experiences like?

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A growth spurt can leave you feeling like you are just hanging on for the ride as you cling to the great adventure that is life with a baby…

 

Feed baby. Sleep. Wake up to grizzling. Feed and burp baby again.

Sleep and dream of weird swamp things.

Feed baby again. Hurt eyes by turning on light.

Curse snoring beast beside me.

Feed baby and fall asleep.

Wake up to light still on.

Toddler yelling. Roll over and hope it will stop.

No stop.

Feed baby.

Baby smiles. Tickle nose. Put baby under play gym.

Get toddler. Kiss toddler. Wrestle toddler. Put toddler in high chair.

Boil kettle. Make porridge. Make toast.

Get baby. Balance baby. Feed toddler. Spread toast. Feed baby. Eat toast.

Get empty coffee container out. Get refill out and fill plunger with entire contents of packet of coffee. Pour coffee back into proper container. Shake head.

“Silly mummy! Mummy is tired!”

Try coffee thing again. Spill water.

Pour plunger. Spill coffee.

Feed baby. Spill baby.

Entertain toddler. Pack pre-school lunch. Pack pre-school bag.

Change toddler. Dress toddler.

Eat leftover porridge. Wipe high chair.

Change baby. Dress baby. Feed baby.

Put baby in car seat.

Put toddler in car seat.

Put self in driving seat.

Wonder where I am going.

 

 

This morning I was all ready for driving to pre-school and I caught my man look at me with a, ‘Hmmm?’ expression. My rushed throw-together outfit was a bit questionable and I think it was this, along with my zombified breakfast failings that made him ask me if I was ok to drive. What was I wearing? A black Everything Batwing top with an orange mini skirt, black and white animal print tights and bright pink and purple striped socks… Was I ok to drive? Yes.

But only just. Sleep deprivation can do weird things to your concentration.

Image credit: ‘Hup’ from ‘A Noisy Alphabet’ by Tom Gauld.

Holy Crap Can It Get Any Worse? (and other daily parenting stories)

Holy Crap Can It Get Any Worse? (and other daily stories of parenthood).

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There is a formula to a good story. There is an introduction where we meet the characters, a catalyst for change where something happens to upset the balance we have just been introduced to – and the rest of the story is about the way that the characters struggle to restore balance and some kind of normalcy.

The characters will try and fail in order to drive the plot through further complications towards an exciting climax. But something’s gotta give…

In an ideal world, the problems will all be resolved. A new state of normalcy will reign – and everyone will learn something from their experiences.

“Never stray from the path”, “Don’t talk to strangers”, “Love the one you are with” are the types of themes or morals that might shine through in an ideal plot.

The thing with parenthood, though, is that you can have a story like this storm into your life within moments.

And things escalate.

And sometimes it’s hard to see exactly what you have learned from the experience.

And it’s also not often ‘big things’ that can complicate your day, but rather seemingly small things caused by bad timing and crossed wires.

Here is a real life example from today:

Life as Usual:

I was preparing the toddler’s breakfast and putting some books and activities out for the day while expressing so that I could go for a bush walk (multitasking mummy!) I had fed the baby and she was settling down for a nap.

Bad Stuff Happens:

Actually, in this case, it was ‘good stuff’ because Daddy came home from his night shift and all of us were excited to see him. I quickly told him about where I was up to with ‘the routine’, checked if it suited him for me to go and get some exercise, got the ok, grabbed the dog and left.

For daddy, this was a bit of a shock. He had come straight home from one world of work into a domestic realm and he hadn’t even taken off his boots yet. The ‘bad stuff’ was beginning…

But we can deal with it:

The excitement of daddy coming home and her older brother squealing had unsettled the baby.

Daddy tried to feed her with expressed milk but she didn’t want it.

Toddler got stroppy because his sister was crying and getting all the attention.

Mess was made and tears began.

Daddy now had two screaming babies to deal with – and no mummy to help.

But we can deal with it:

He changed her nappy and put a DVD on to keep the toddler entertained. He tried to get her to settle again in her cot but this process took too long and baby was now overtired.

Whoa! Worse stuff happens: Toddler bounces on bed and climbs on daddy and upsets baby (who needs to sleep) even more. Baby still won’t take bottle. Baby is screaming. Toddler is crying. Kettle is whistling…

Oh No, now all is lost!:

Mummy returns from walk to over-tired screaming baby, crying toddler and upset grumpy daddy. Mummy struggles to resettle baby and is irritated that DVD is on and coffee is not made…

Tired persons argument starts (hard to say what it was about, but there was a bit of finger pointing and it just kept being about something).

Climax: Voices are raised. Toddler is crying. Baby is screaming. Feelings are hurt. Kettle still whistling. Phone starts ringing… SO MUCH NOISE AND DRAMA!

Falling Action:

Mummy swaddles baby and lies down with her to take a break. Daddy takes toddler for walk outside.

Tired daddy returns to have a cup of coffee (finally) and sit down with quiet activities with toddler.

Mummy emerges after difficulties settling baby.

Parents apologise*, cuddle and have a coffee together.

 

And all of this in an hour. Parenting is tough because things can get complicated so quickly with the stresses of a baby crying and too many little bodies needing too many different little things…

 

But a good story has a new level of normalcy as well as a bit of learning.

 

Here’s what I learned:

 

People need time to adjust to new environments regardless of how familiar they are

It is best to plan exercise/time away for once baby is definitely asleep and settled

Things can get out of hand quickly

Always apologise

‘Drop it while it’s hot’ – leave an argument before it gets out of hand and you say things you don’t mean

Be gentle with tired people.

 

* Today’s apology was made with a label maker. I wrote ‘I’m Sorry’ and ‘I Love You’ on sticky labels and stuck them to my forehead.(They were two separate labels – otherwise I might have actually made things worse!)  It seemed like a nice light-hearted way to break the ice…and it worked.

My Kingdom for a Thank You (Splat Mats are the ‘horse’)

My kingdom for a thank you.

 

I am toddler!

Hear me roar!

I will throw my food all over the floor!

 

I am toddler!

Hear me scream!

I do not think I believe in ‘clean’!

 

I am toddler! I am two!

I am tornado! I am goo!

I am toddler! I will spill!

I am toddler! Feel my will!

 

This could really go on and on…and it’s all very well; but sometimes a timely ‘thank you’ can work wonders for a tired mummy…

(At least I have a Splat Mat.)

 

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A thank you, My Kingdom for a thank you.

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You’re Funny! 15 Punch Lines You Can Use With Your Parenting Friends

You’re Funny! 15 punch lines you can use with your parenting friends

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  1. Let’s do dinner.
  2. I haven’t toddler-proofed my house, but I’m sure it will be fine.
  3. Don’t worry about naps, they can sleep in the car on the way.
  4. One nappy will be fine.
  5. Leave the nappy bag – we won’t need it.
  6. Don’t worry about snacks – we can buy something when we get there.
  7. Of course we can have an early dinner. See you at eight?
  8. I’m pretty sure the venue is child friendly. They do chips.
  9. Don’t worry about a change of clothes.
  10. I gave them chocolate. That’s fine isn’t it?
  11. Can you just pop to the shops for a few things on your way?
  12. Can’t you just get a babysitter?
  13. Why are you late?
  14. If you leave now you can beat the traffic.
  15. What do you do all day?

 

 

 

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